Why you shouldn't use TinyTIM:
The DON'T GO THERE List
While we like to think that TinyTIM satisfies the needs of just about
everyone, the fact is that there are some people out there for whom
TIM is going to do as much for them as a root canal during Mardi
Gras. Use this handy list before connecting to TinyTIM, and if you
find that you hit too many items on this list, don't use TinyTIM. Feel
free to send us money, though.
- If you don't like reading, TinyTIM isn't for you. Since it's all based
in text, there's no splashy graphics or sound to keep your attention.
TinyTIM is not TinyNINTENDO; it's a consensual description of another place
with lots and lots of wry commentary. Most importantly, it's a lot of
reading. If you hate reading, Don't go there.
- If you expect to find yourself in the middle of a computerized
Ultima/Dungeons and Dragons/Car Wars/Steve Jackson Games
kill/maim/disturb-fest that will challenge you to balance your hit points
and weapons charges with the skills of other warriors across the nation,
TinyTIM isn't for you. We're here to have a lot of fun socially interacting
with others, and making our lives a little more goofy and fun. There are
some challenging areas on TIM, places you can wander around in, maybe even
solving conflicts and puzzles, not to mention the really neat social
puzzles/conflicts you'll find in the other players. But if your idea of a
TinyGame is meeting new and interesting people and blowing them up into
smithereens, Don't go there.
- If you use other Tinygames and you really really dig a strong theme
based around a series of books or a widespread film, TinyTIM will
severely disappoint you. Our primary themes are "Be goofy to each
other" and "Talk about something amazingly funny and interesting."
We're not based on any series of books, and if you really stretch it,
you might say we're based a little on Monty Python and the Holy
Grail, but even then you'll find that the ten thousand rooms
on-line don't enter with that theme. This isn't to say there isn't
role-playing on TIM; in fact there's quite a bit of it, with Pern and
Anthropomorphic critters and all that sort of fun stuff, but it's not
enforced. We don't care if you go "In Character" or "Out of
Character", and we find it fun when people from two entirely
different sets of role-playing themes interact. If you want some sort
of homogenized one-world theme, Don't go there.
- If you're looking for a date, go out to dance clubs or bars and meet
people that way; MUDs aren't the best place to look for lovers. Oh, sure,
it's possible to do it, and it's been done before. However, the road to
Virtual Love is strewn with the long-distance phone calls, the bitter
reprisals, the soap-operaish monologues in the public areas from jilted
lovers. Stick to a local dating service. TIM isn't for people who
must get "love" tonight. Don't go
- If you expect everyone you meet to drop everything they're doing and
entertain you, you're in for some disappointment. We're happy to meet you
and get to know you, but we don't live to make your life fun. We don't
worship anyone, except maybe TIM, and he doesn't care, so it doesn't
- Most importantly, if you view the Internet as just one amazingly
huge toy, where you can get to play with the heads of all the cute
little words that go by on the screen on IRC or MUDs, then we really
don't want you. TIM is not just some cheap chat program where you
get to say lots of nice profanity and watch the reaction; it's a place
full of people who want to have a good time and interact with each
other in a humorous fashion. Don't go there.
By: Sketch the Art Cow. HTML aid
provided by Empedocles.